The Hunter

I see your deepest intensions,

The ones you hide behind your false affections…

I see you taking pleasure from people’s misfortune,

Counting on their hardships for your opportune…

I see you backstabbing your poor ‘friend’

She trusted you with her little secret and you thought it was yours to spend..

Embarrassed, she couldn’t put up a fight,

And I saw you ecstatic on her plight..

I see your venom as poisonous as a snake,

But In your mind you make no mistakes…

I see you too..

Your false life, your true pretense

The one you hide from your wife in all expense

You extracted her emotionally all your life

You thought she was a simpleton and would never put up a strife

You believed your lies and told them with a straight face

She believed your lies too and took them with grace..

You never saw her tears; you left her with her own affairs..

I next see a guy set to destroy relationships

Twisting stories, spinning words with only lies on his lips..

He played with feelings and made fun of other men’s wives

He laughed at all, all but himself and felt happy with his ‘perfect life’

He even went as far as pretending to love other women just for their money

He opened a business with money that he took

Was considered to be one huge crook

He thought he was getting away with all

Until one day he took a fall

One day God heard a prayer from this girl, who asked him if he was there?

God took upon himself to clear the air,

He sent me as his final whisper, he sent me to set things right..

I came down as her vengeance, I came down to free her of her blight,

I set out to hunt them out

I gave them a taste of their own medicine and I heard them shout

‘What?’ I asked

‘Why me’ they said?

I told them to think before they act and think before you do too,
I am Karma, the bitch and I will come right back to you!

Seven minutes

You wish for me to stand still,

To force my hands to hold your quill,

To change your story as you please

But you, my friend, forget that I am the tide, which cannot freeze.

You thought that you had enough of me

But you my friend did not foresee.

You thought you could buy me with your false treasures

I am the most precious thing you have and you thought I was at your leisure.

I see your eyes, full of repent.

You want to get back all that you have spent,

You missed your chance to value everything around you

The breeze, the seas and the skies hue.

You missed your chance to tell him you loved him.

To tell him that you passed me by for him.

Now I see you at your last door.

I see you look back; plead me to spare you some more.

All I can give you is seven minute of me.

Seven minutes, just for your plea

Seven minutes to relive your life

Seven minutes until you cease all your strife

Your seven minutes are up; you are ready to go

I see a smile on your lips and your eyes glow

Those seven minutes have taught you your final lesson,

What you learnt, you whisper to me

I hear you say-‘Its too late, you are gone; you wont come back!’
And I, the Time agree.     

-Ramya Rallabandi     

A Wound I can Heal...

Wound, wound! Inflicted by a memory,

Wrought by a hammer of trickery.

Scourged by love turned into ashes,

Only to leave the soul with deep gashes.

Yes! You would think this is a wound that would never heal

But my friend, give me a chance and your soul would again anneal.

Give me a chance to make you resilient

Give me a chance and you will once again be ebullient

The pain will hurt you for a while

But trust me you have seen worse by a mile!

You think this is it! And you can take it no more!

You want to drown into a sea of abhor!

But please give me a chance and I’ll be your oar!

And together we shall sail ashore.

You would think what’s left of kisses? But that wound leave scars!

But my friend, give me a chance and ill heal those by far.

All I, the Time ask you is for a Chance,

So, give me, Time some time to make you whole

Please give me a chance to heal your wounded soul! 

Being an Adaptable Teacher..

When I graduated from college, I thought I knew everything there was to know. I sure was wrong!

I had no idea what my experience as a project co-ordinator (for Adhya Educational Society) at Gandhi Hospital was going to be like. I encountered situations I never anticipated. It’s been 4 months since I have started going to Gandhi hospital and each day of these 4 months has been a teacher to me. Each day has taught me a lesson that I would never forget in my life. Someone was definitely right when they said ‘Experience is a brutal teacher but you learn fast’.

I wanted to become a teacher. It was not a long term goal but yes! It was one of the things that I really wanted to do. Then why did I accept being a project co-coordinator at Gandhi hospital? Where I was not exactly a teacher, I was not a play mate to the kids. Then what was I there? I coined a term for myself. I was an adaptable teacher- different students, different subjects, different games and different environment every day and I saw this to be more exciting than teaching normally.

In these 4 months, I have taught kids aging from 4 years to 17 years. There were kids who absolutely refused to say even a ‘Hello!’ while there were others who could have a non-stop conversation with me, making it impossible for me to teach. There were kids who hated making a simple game, a tool for studying and there were kids who put aside their games to come and sit beside me while I tried teaching them Science and history. There were kids who would make faces when I gave them homework while most of them would trail behind me to give additional math homework.

November

Talk about being thrown in the deep end! Nothing in the whole wide world could have prepared me for the experiences I had at starting month in Gandhi. Lucky for me, I had Anusha (my colleague) with whom I could discuss and rely on completely. Both of us, I am sure have different perspective about what we saw of Gandhi but this I was sure of! Both of us loved it!. I had kids who would say ‘Telvadi’ to every task I gave them! I had some volunteers who sometimes behaved worse than kids! But I loved the experience! There was nothing like stopping the 7 year old kids from using swear language, teaching kids who have stopped going to school (either because of lack of money or either because of their health) in a mixture of Telugu, Hindi and English, watch surprise in the eyes of the parents when their child had done something that was absolutely creative! Watch the kid’s astonishment when you show him the World Map and unravel that the world itself is carved as a huge jigsaw puzzle; smile and blush deeply when he says ‘neek anni telsu akka! Nu great akka!’ I was learning how to manage kids with severe autism but I was also learning how to manage parents who were more competitive than the kids.

What had I learnt that first month? I learnt how to make a “telvadi’ (i don't know) to ‘I don’t know how to do it but I want to give it a try!’ 

Yep, that is learning right there!

December

December was a very crucial month for me. In a sense I was discovering and learning a lot in the midst of all the chaos in Gandhi Hospital. I realized that kids too are people who have feelings and who don't want to feel cornered. They want to learn but they also want to feel as if they have some control over themselves. I never understood what Madhu (Adhya educational society’s President) meant when she said ‘Every student is different; no two students react in the same way’ but now I was beginning to understand that sentence. I put myself a task to find not only what motivates each kid to learn but also what motivates them to misbehave. I understood that if I could get that one point and take away that motivation, I could be more effective in creating an effective learning experience.

The whole process was nerve wrecking but yes! I enjoyed every bit of it!

January

If December had taught me about dealing with kids, then in January I was discovering myself. All the kids I had worked with so far had two things in common – Hope and Courage. These kids were teaching me more than what I had to teach them. They taught me that no matter what happened in my life, I should never give up and at some point things would turn out all right. I was starting to search for humor in my problems. I was starting to not to lose hope. It made me smile when every day Azeema would come up to me and say ‘I am getting discharged tomorrow didi’. I knew of course that the situation was otherwise but her hope of getting discharged never left. She uses the same phrases of ‘I am going tomorrow’ even now and I believe her every time she says it. One of the interns at You See (another NGO) once asked me ‘why do you act as if you believe her? Why don’t you just tell her the truth and that she is not getting discharged now?’ I did not answer him that day but I had realized by then that Hope sometimes gives you all the strength to fight and I would do anything to keep that hope alive, both in me and my kids.

If the kids were giving me the lesson of Hope and Courage then their parents were teaching me how to be assertive. I always had issues with anger management but now I was at least trying to be assertive when it was required and trust me! Sometimes the parents can really piss you off when they have nonsensical questions like ‘why don’t you get married instead of working here?’

Not all parents are like that though. Most parents encourage me in what I do. They sit beside their kids when I teach them origami. They learn along with their kids when I teach them bits and pieces of all subjects. They get involved when I start discussions or storytelling. They paint and construct houses with the Lego sets too! In short they live the lost moments of their childhood.

My students at Gandhi taught me far more than I taught them and they taught me well!                            

                                                        

February

February was literally like I was testing the ‘Chaos theory’. Kids who had come in February were very stubborn. There was chaos everywhere; right from having a 6 year old kid I just met screaming at me and hit me one on my back when I refused to give him a pointed end lego set (I did not give it to him because I felt it was not appropriate for his age) to a kid blushing and informing all his friends that I had called him ‘darling’! There were kids who drew obscene things when I gave them paper and set of crayons to draw and laugh over it! But out of all my experience in February, I had learnt this- that if there was at least one kid who was ready to try the task you set him, then all the kids will someday follow him at least to get some attention. You just need to have patience. Patience when they behavior is at the worst, patience when they are refusing to try something new, patience when you feel your temper rising until compassion hits you and you realize that most of these kids get ill treated at their house and trust me! Patience really works!

A sandalwood tree has a fragrance so sublime that it makes the other trees neighboring it smell good. One good kid in the ward does the same thing. I have seen one good kid influence other kids when I started praising him for his behavior.

I am sure every teacher can recount numerous highs and lows in their teaching career. At Gandhi, my experiences may not be similar to those of a conventional teacher but nevertheless, they have been enriching and close to my heart. These were days when I ended so happy and enthusiastic that I knew I was right in staying at Gandhi. On the other hand, I had days where I definitely questioned whether I was even eligible being at Gandhi hospital with the kids. To these kids I might mean a simple ‘akka’, ‘auntie’, ‘teacher’, ‘didi’ or whatever else they call me. They might forget me in the sands of time but what I have learnt from them will always stay with me as I grow each day into a wiser person.

FASTEST FINGER FIRST

VISWANATH

12 pm, 10^th april

 “Pak troops violate ceasefire twice; 1 jawan, 3 Pak soldiers killed”-That was a small write up on the first page of the paper and I am the Father of that jawan. My son mihir had died in a heavy exchange of fire in Keran sector in north Kashmir, 6 months ago. People come to my house to express their condolences and also to congratulate me for fathering such a brave son. I had always dreamt of the time when my son would make me proud but those dreams always had him alive in it.  Now that he is dead what do I do with these congratulations and condolences?

He was 18 when he said he wanted to be a soldier and no sir! I was not happy with it. He was a bright student. Why would he want to become a soldier??? I wanted him to become an engineer or a doctor or anything else but a soldier. It was his mother who forced me to sign the application form and now look at her.

There she was lying on the deewan, looking at her son’s pictures. Once her eyes used to make me forget everything…such beautiful eyes she had and now? There is nothing now in those eyes..Nothing! I keep gazing at her and suddenly I realize that my cheeks are wet…My daughter in law, Aakruthi gives me a kerchief to wipe them.

Aakruthi…I am scared to face her. I feel as if I have done her wrong by marrying her to my son. To be a widow at such a young age…People think she is very brave. Yes, she is…Definitely but I have seen her cry every night of these 6 months, clutching her daughter.

I am 60 years old and at this age it is difficult to take up family’s responsibility. I try but the money I get is not sufficient. I need to think about my granddaughter. In another year she will be in a school and fees now a day are so high! I tire myself by worrying about it every day. I switch on the TV and watch an ad of amitab bachchan and kaun banega crorepati.

RISHIKA

12 am, 10^th april , 2011 

Jeez! It is scary to sit on the parapet wall and see hyderabad from the 34^th floor of Vasanth vihar. I never realized Hyderabad was so beautiful. I wish I could stay for a little while more. But I don’t have much time. I  have so much to do and so less time.

I was 10 years old when I first saw him..Somehow a four letter word was never sufficient to tell how much I loved him..I waited for the right time…I imagined our lives together many a times. Avinash , a business tycoon and I, a scientist. Such a fool I was to think that time would wait for me. Wonder where he is now? Haven’t heard of him since 10 years.Should have listened to my mother saying, ‘Time and tide wait for none’.

My mother..She is all I have. My father had left us when I was 8 and so there were only 2 people in my life now…Her and avinash. I ll miss my mother a lot. I wish I had done something to make her proud of and I wish I had done something for him to remember me. But it’s ok may be I still have time. I look at the large hoarding of Amitab bachan on Kaun banega Crorepathi.

I remember how I used to curl up in her lap as soon as I was home from school. I used to wake up with her bhajans in the morning. The scent of agarbathi in the air…She still tries to maintain the same schedule..Waking me up in the morning, giving me my lunch box, kissing me goodbye..Tears roll down my eyes and I look at the report concluding I have intestinal cancer…I cry and I cry a lot but then I realize that I am not the first person to die and neither am I the last….

May be I can do something for her……

FAROOQ

10 am, 10^th april, 2011

With one look at my house, I leave it to tend my field. My father used to tell me how important it was to stay as a farmer. He used to tell me that only two professions matter for a country- A soldier, to protect the people and a farmer to feed them.  I grew listening to Lal Bahadur Shastri’s slogans of Jai Jawan Jai Kisan but now, after seeing countless summers and winters I have realized that they were mere words to please people. After all slogans can’t fill my family’s stomach. I have lived to see my neighbors die of hunger, commuting suicides for not being able to pay the debts and I fear that my chance would soon be up. My ‘ghehoon’ crop isn’t fairing well. The gods are showing no mercy.

Later that afternoon I drag myself to shahukar’s place, hoping that he would lend me more money. Shahukarji is a nice man. I enter his abode to find him with his son, chote sahib. They were busy watching TV. Chote sahib was talking about some game where people can win money.

‘Baba?try tho karo na? Agar 6 sawalonn ka apne jawab dediya tho kam se kam 1,60,000 tho milenge!’Shaukaar took a sip from his hookah, “nai bitua..yeh sab kaika kasht? Bhagwaan ke kripa se sab kuch tho hai na?tho fir?’

“baba?phir bhi…

I kept listening to their conversation and I donno what came over me and I said”sahib?mai koshish karta hoon. Mujhe bataenge ki kya karna hai??’

KAUN BANEGA CROREPATHI STUDIO

17^th November, 2011     

It’s the last day of KBC season 5 and only three contestants remain. The last contestant had won 80,000 and he had hugged amitab bacchan before leaving the set.

Amitab bachchan had come to the center of the set and the camera zoomed on his face

Panch koti mahamani kaun banega crorepathi ke Ahkri episode mai aap sab logon ka phir se swagath hai. In  paanch mahino mai KBC ne bahut saare logoon ki zindagiyan badal di. Haan!Agar is dauraan agar humne kisi ka dil dukhaya ho tho mai apne KBC team ke taraf se aapse kshama mangtha hoon. Humara uddesh kisi ka dil dukhana nahi tha.Isike saath hum apne agle aur shayad aakhri fastest finger first ke oar badhthe hai..Swagath kartha hoon humare aakri bache 3 contestants’ ka. Talliyan bajaiye..

Farooq sheik, Jaitsar, Rajasthan se!

Rishika Gupta, Hyderabad se!

Aur

Vishwanath aiyar, pune se!

Ready contestants? Aur aapka fastest finger first hai yeh aapke screen par!!!

Put these words of a Hindi Proverb in the correct order
A. Bimaar B. Anaar C. Ek D. Sau

Aur aapka samai shuru hota hai ab!

EPILOGUE

There is 1 hot seat and 3 contestants. People whose life may depend on this one question. These are Indians who are in need of money equally but only 1 can sit on the hot seat. And readers it is for you to decide who should sit on the hot seat..Whose need according to you surpasses the remaining two???

‘Kehthe hain ke agar ek darwaaza band hojae tho doosra apne aap hi khultha hai.’-a line we get to hear almost every day in our life but which of these 3 has only 1 door??Decide and tell me why???

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction so let your actions be pure

During my last days of schooling i gave my slam book to my teachers...nearly 40 teachers wrote different quotations but only 1 among them had great influence on me....I read it every day...it was my physics teacher who wrote "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction so let your actions be pure." More than half of it might be Newton’s third law but it has great meaning in it.

If u hurt someone (intentionally or  unintentionally),the equal amount will be inflicted upon you someday or the other in some way or the other...If u hate anyone, someone would hate you equally...If u love anyone intensely, someone would love you in the same way...If u have helped someone at the time of need then someone would help you when you need it the most.... 

I know none of u'll reading this would hurt anyone intentionally or hate anyone and i also know that half of the people reading this love someone and they believe that, that person would never love you back in the same way..It is for those people that i write today..;-) Guys, its k if that person doesn't realize how much you love him/her now...Someday he would realize it but till then love that person with every drop of your blood, with every breath you take,let that person know how much you love him with every action of yours...some day you would definitely get an opposite reaction...:) just wait for that day....never give up hope till then....:) And if someone has hurt you in some way just forgive them...I know maybe at that time you would desperately want to kick his ass or swear but don't....just forgive...c how light your heart feels..initially it might be difficult but at least you could give it a try.....just remember that some day he would realize his mistake because his action were not pure...some day he would learn his lesson....love and mercy are the two most difficult things to possess...Two purest forms of action... And if you posses them then there is no end to your happiness....  Trust me...:)

Miss u a lot.....

Sometimes you realise the importance of a person wen he/she is gone and would never come back...the surprising fact is that we live in a delusional life,failing to realise the importance of a person....today i realised something and i want to share this wid as many people possible....please spend as much time possible wid ur loved ones...cos smeday u will regret the time wen u had a chance but still couldnt spend time wid them....

If there would be 1 thng i culd change in my life...i would want my grandpa back...Today, i would like to write about him....and wat he meant to me....Late Sri Rallabandi Venkata Vithala Lakshmi Narasimha rao...quite a big name...isn't it? I was 6 wen i met him for the 1st time and 10 wen i saw him last....he is no more...but those 4 years he was my friend,playmate and more....i miss him a lot...i miss his stories,i miss playing chess and carooms wid him...i miss the time we used to share choclates behind my parents back...i miss the time wen i used to fight with him for 101 silly reasons....i miss playing video games wid him....i miss him scolding me for getting 3/10 in math....lol..i miss him encouraging me to read books...half of the books in my library are his gifts...i miss him teaching me telugu words and numbers (forcebly) but now i would give anything i have just to get him teach me those lessons now....i miss sitting behind his scooter while he got me from school....back then i hated that scooter but now it would mean a lot to me..his things are nothing less then antiques to me...i preserved most of them in my diary....a reminiscent of the old days...my priced processions..we used to have dinner together but now his seat is empty and cold...i want him back and I miss him a lot....And no matter what i do i would never get him back....If my grandpa can c me now,i want to tell him, "I love you tathayya......"

To those of u who still have ur grandparents please understand that u guys are very lucky...spend as much as time with them...try and make them as happy as possible....

The same goes to all our loved one's.be it family or friends....respect every one and hate no one....life is very short and lets make room for all our loved one's....:)

Together Yet Apart

© Kyra Lee 

Its got harder and harder
since the day you went away
but still people keep telling me
everything shall be okay

I know deep inside
that it’s better up there
but we're not together
which makes it unfair

Seems like yesterday
that we were together
then I opened my eyes
to realize gone means forever

It hurts and it aches
its slicing my heart
for the rest of my life
we shall be apart

I’m waiting for the future
hoping to see
that when I die
You'll open up those gates for me

Having a Poppy
with a heart made of gold
is my favorite treasure
which will never grow old

Family reunions
will never be the same
cause you’re not there with us
to be stronger I aim

Your chair at the table
is empty and cold
you need to come home
I need someone to hold

Now that your gone
I have no-one to run to
Am I doing this right
please send me a clue

I don’t understand
the meaning of life
I can’t get this right
Keep getting in strife

Do you Know
How much we all love you
Do you realize
How much I trust You

Your Officially gone
But forever in my heart
You and me Poppy
together, yet apart